Let’s fast forward to 2016 shall we?
My grandparents, as well as my sister and her family move to Salem, Oregon. My grandma got the ‘brilliant’ idea to purchase a home that is a two level, multiple family house. At the time I knew it was going to be a bad idea. Seven people and a crap-ton of pets in one giant house? Yeah, no.
Once we all get settled into the house, I started attending Western Oregon University. Everything was going fairly well, but my grandma developed this new habit of either sitting on the couch, or laying in bed and yelling ‘Elizabeth!’ to get my attention. If I didn’t respond she would continue hollering until I stopped what I was doing and got up to see what she wanted.
Nine times out of ten sh just wanted me to either get something for her, or look something useless up on the computer. She is of sound mind and body, mind you. I, in turn, am not.
I would hear ‘Elizuhbeeeeth’ in my dreams.
At this time she is continuing her relationship with my birth mother, and her children. One day I hear through the grapevine that my half-sister is pregnant. She’s 17, has no job, very little education, and no real way of supporting herself. So of course I get to hear her talking about it all the time. I am still not wanting any sort of relationship with this part of the family.
My boyfriend (who ended up becoming my husband) and I finally moved in together, after a long period of uncertainty on my part. Approximately two or three months after moving into our new place I started hearing rumblings that my birth mother and her child were going to move to Salem. I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I felt so betrayed. They were going to be moving into the room that I had literally just moved out of. I felt like I had a giant cleaver in my back.
My birth mother decided to make everything so much worse. Somehow she found me on Facebook again, she decided to send me another lovely message. I’m fairly certain she had gone off her medication again. The message read:
‘Just think you need to realize how much you are hurting the two people that raised you and gave you the world…Not sure what the hell your problem is but you really need to get over yourself…Stop acting like a spoiled brat that’s not getting her way…You got the better end of the the deal…My kids struggled and did without all their lives but never once did Mom and Dad let you go without…And this is how you thank them…I could careless about you…You have made it quite clear you want nothing to do with me and that’s fine…Mom and Dad have done nothing but give you the best life possible…and this is how they get treated in return…You really need to take your real Dad of that pedestal you have him on…He was nothing but a drunk who never wanted you…Time you hear the truth…So stop treating the two people that loved you and gave you a good life like crap…I’m sure you will run and tell Lisa but just so you know Mom and Dad had nothing to do with this text…Just sick and tired of both you and Lisa hurting them…And before either of you open your mouths I am not perfect either and have made alot of mistake but at least I am trying to make amends…It’s really sad that she has to find out second hand that you are engaged..Wow real nice…Do you think for 1 minute that she would not want to share in your happiness of getting engaged…Sad but they raised two of the most selfish self centered entitled people I have ever seen.. Time to grow up the hell up…I know you will block me and that’s cool…Just wanted to let you know what a spoiled immature BRAT you are acting like…How will you feel when Mom and Dad pass and we keep that information from you but obviously you won’t care…Better think real hard about how you are acting…So think twice before you text back some snotty response…Today is Mom’s birthday…thank you for wishing her a happy birthday…NOT!! I guess when we all move out of Oregon there is no point in letting you know…Oh and I will speak my peace with Lisa before this is all said and done…’
To this day I still haven’t responded, I had no idea what to even say. What she fails to realize is that I had tried reaching out to my grandparents but they were resistant in having anything to do with me because of my anger and hatred toward my birth mother. At this point, before I received this message, I had gotten engaged. And no, I didn’t tell them. But I was really feeling like, because of my lack of support in their relationship, I wouldn’t be getting any support in return.
When my grandma decided to go get them, they were living in Idaho, she left my grandpa in Salem. By himself. He doesn’t walk very well, and had very little support from anyone else. I tried calling my grandma when she was in Idaho, she wouldn’t talk to me and hung up on me several times.
I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong, but I didn’t feel like I had any other choice in this situation.