I Want All Of The Junk Food 

Yesterday was a horrible pain day. And really, today isn’t much better.
The sciatic pain had been relentless. I believe I’m going on almost two weeks.
I had food in the slow cooker, and I had come up with a plan to make some homemade honey wheat bread. That didn’t end up happening. I tried to start making the bread because the jolts and spasms were too much. I threw my hands up and said “I can’t do this, I won’t be finishing dinner.”
I was really looking forward to that bread too
I ended up going and laying in bed and crying for quite some time. I hate feeling so defeated over something so small. Partly I think I was thinking back to all of the doctors I had seen, and how much I haven’t been offered relief. I have a tendency to think back on things or situations that have happened and dwell on the what-ifs or things I should’ve said.
That’s not crazy is it? No, everyone does it. Right?
Fell asleep until about 8:30 and came out to eat dinner. My face felt dry, my eyes swollen from the tears. I ate some, stayed up until about midnight and decided to give in and go back to bed.
Woke up around four times from the burning spasms. I also find myself flipping around, trying to find that sweet spot to fall asleep. Finding that sweet spot is getting harder and harder to obtain.
Got out of bed this morning and felt like a flesh covered iron weight. Still having the burning pain, but the new addition this morning was cramps in my butt cheek. Talk about a strange sensation. Randomly feeling your butt cheek clench up when you’re out in public is very strange. You can swear that someone just touched your butt. No one has.
Really wishing I could stay home and just lay on my heating pad. I got ready and went to work. Thankfully we got in a decent sized project with a quick turn around time so I had plenty to work on today. Working on a computer while dancing in your chair, hoping for the cramps to stop is a bit of a bummer.
The possibility of having a slipped or herniated disk is a real possibility. The discomfort I feel on my left side is typically related to a lower back issue. Thankfully this can typically be fixed with surgery. Not that I want to have surgery, but if it would help, I’m all for it. I wonder if I would be able to go into surgery with a two for one deal. I mean I’ll already be out, might as well fix my hips while you’re fixing my back. Sounds like a plan right?
When I got home I remembered that I had some of the Salonpas pain relief patches, so I thought I would give them a try. They’re about 4”x 2” so I ended up putting four of them on my lower back, and four of them on the back of my left leg. Even though it isn’t really relieving the pain per se, it’s a nice cooling and tingling feeling. Can’t really complain about that too much.
So, here I am. Sitting on the recliner. Wrapped up in my snuggie with a thick pair of my crocheted socks, watching YouTube videos. It’s definitely one of those times when I wish I could go out and do something. Or get in the kitchen and bake something. But alas, I’m chair bound with a kitty on my lap. It could be worse I suppose.

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