Ants In My Pants

Today has turned into day three of sciatica pain. I feel a searing pain going down the back of my left leg as I type this. Why, oh why, is this not stopping? I’ve tried hot baths, stretching a little. Nothing.

If someone saw me sitting at my desk at work they would think I have a terrible case of ants in my pants. I find myself shifting and moving around while I’m sitting at work trying to ease some of the pain. It’s a terrible cycle, I can’t stand for extended periods, but you’re not supposed to sit for too long with sciatic pain. The only bit of relief I can get involves laying in bed and not moving. Maybe I can find a way to work from home, in bed.

Wait. Never mind. Moving on.

Yesterday was my husbands birthday and I was driving us out to dinner, we drove by an acupuncture clinic. And I thought maybe I should try acupuncture again, maybe to find some semblance of pain relief. I have tried acupuncture in the past when I was struggling a lot with my migraines. I went to nearly a dozen appointments and there wasn’t much relief from the headaches. Therefore I feel a bit apprehensive about returning. The only part of it that makes me feel like it may be worth it, is that the pain is in a different part of the body. I don’t believe that I will be able to get any relief from the dyplasia pain, but if the sciatica would go away, that would be wonderful.

I really want to contact my general physician about the pain again, but I can almost guarantee that my worries and discomfort will be met with a passive response and him simply telling me that he wants me to wait until November. I’m getting so exhausted with all of the waiting, I just want someone to tell me straight up if they are going to help me or not.

I’m struggling with the idea that I want to go into the appointment in November and before the orthopedic doctor says anything, and say “I don’t want to hear about my weight, I’m in daily, horrific pain. I need to know if you’ll even be willing to help me or not. If not, we don’t even need to continue this meeting.” But I know that that isn’t the best way to possibly start a relationship with a physician. But I’ve gotten to the point where, typically, the outcome doesn’t work in my favor.

If only I had something easier to diagnose and treat.

A terrible thought crossed my mind the other day. I was sitting and watching Hulu and a commercial for Kaiser Permanente came on and it shows a father being diagnosed with cancer. His son goes around telling everyone “the doctors know what to do.” The thought crossed my mind that if I had something else going on that was more medically recognized then maybe I would have gotten help a bit sooner. By no means am I saying that I wish I had a treatable cancer instead of hip dysplasia, but at least in that case I would have gotten treatment by now.

But, for now I am going to go search around for something to hopefully ease some of the pain. Perhaps I’ll bang my head against the wall to distract from everything else.

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