Discouragement gets the better of me again.
In a way I just bow my head, accept defeat and go back to my life. After canceling my membership at the health club my life goes back to school, home, eat, sleep. But finally the time comes that my husband and I find a place to life so I can get out of a less than savory home situation. Pushing through the moving day and trying my hardest to ignore the screaming pain in my lower body was extremely difficult. Especially since we were moving with a U-Haul and not using a moving company. Looking back I realize, I’m never moving without a moving company ever again. The pain stuck around for days after he returned the truck.
Maybe a vacation will help?
During the summer of 2016 my husband and I decided to take a road trip to Montana. He had gone to school there and I hadn’t been so he wanted to take me and show me around. After dropping our cat Moose off at the cat hotel we took off to Montana. As much as I enjoyed the trip, the drive was torture. Having to switch how I was sitting, making fairly frequent stops, and not really being able to walk around and be as active as I wanted.
A friend of my husband was living in a studio apartment up at Big Sky Resort. As a nice gesture his friend let us stay at the apartment while we were in the area. This was an experience that I wasn’t at all prepared for. Being 7,218′ up in the mountains and struggling with my mobility was a terrible combination. But, to be fair, my husband and I were both struggling a bit up there. Coming home to my own surroundings and the familiarity of my situation was a great relief. And of course I missed our fur babies.
Shortly after returning to Oregon I went to a temp agency to apply for help finding a job. Because of my inability to stand or be on my feet for a long period of time I knew that the types of positions I could hold was very limited. About a week later I was placed in a position in an office where I could move around as I saw fit, that way I could sit and stand so I could avoid hurting myself. Even though I was working in a position where I could sit and stand, I was still struggling to find the drive to get myself out of bed, and push though the pain to get ready in the morning.
As my time at Western Oregon University was coming to an end and everyone is asking me if I’m going to walk for my graduation. Obviously, I was feeling very apprehensive about taking part in the graduation ceremony. At this point I was only able to stand or walk for only about 10 minutes at a time. Sitting in the hot sun, and then standing in line for, who knows how long, to receive an empty diploma holder. To me, that sounded like a complete nightmare. In the end I opted to stay home and to have the university send me my diploma in the mail.
Although I’m taking ibuprofen everyday, it’s barely touching the discomfort. The next source of pain relief that I decided to try was CBD topical. Just like most other people I had smoked marijuana when I was younger and it was more of a rebellious thing at the time. But since legalization had happened in Oregon I had read some stories about people using a CBD topical for pain relief. At this point I was willing to try anything to help eliminate the pain because I wasn’t going to start taking Vicodin again. So, I went to a dispensary and spoke to the woman working there about using a topical for pain relief. The cost was a bit higher than I really wanted to spend, but I was willing to try anything at that point.
The first couple of weeks using the topical went fairly well. It had a wonderful cooling sensation on my skin. I would apply some to each of my hips, and a little on both of my knees. Unfortunately one of the side effects of hip dysplasia is that other parts of your body will start to hurt over time. There was a bit of relief without the fuzzy head feeling that usually comes along with marijuana. A little bit of pain relief was better than nothing at all. Since I was feeling some relief I decided to purchase a CBD vapor cartridge to see if adding that would increase the pain relief. For the first two weeks of using both the topical and the vapor pen, I had felt the best I had felt in years. Just like everything else, the relief didn’t last very long. I’m uncertain if my body builds a resistance to things quickly, but the pain relief started to fade so just like the Vicodin, I set it aside and decided it wasn’t worth the money.